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[03 Sep 2008|07:32pm] |
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i like school
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[30 Jul 2008|02:04am] |
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i am just sad. sad sad sad. watching them makes me sad, i want one of my own. i am upset. why aren't i good enough?
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[16 Jul 2008|11:19pm] |
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tonsils out tomorrow. terrified.
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[01 Jul 2008|01:25am] |
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life is not awesome
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[22 Jun 2008|10:12pm] |
me and jack made a truce
i love warped tour and sunburns
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[28 May 2008|11:41am] |
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i'm a senior, officially :-)
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[16 May 2008|01:35pm] |
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they say it fades if you let it. love was made to forget it. i carved your name across my eyelids. you pray for rain, i pray for blindness. if you still want me, please forgive me. the crown of love is falling from me. if you still want me, please forgive me, because the spark is not within me. i snuffed it out, before my mom walked in my bedroom. the only thing that you keep changing is your name, my love keeps growing still the same, just like a cancer, and you won't give me a straight answer. if you still want me please forgive me, the crown of love has fallen from me if you still want me please forgive because your hands are not upon me. i shrugged them off before my mom walked in my bedroom. the pains of love and they keep growing in my heart theres flowers growing on the grave of our old love. since you gave me a straight answer. if you still want me, please forgive me, the crown of love is not upon me. if you still want me please forgive me. cuz the spark is not within me.
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[16 Mar 2008|10:33am] |
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i don't know what to do. why isn't this easier
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[09 Mar 2008|10:11pm] |
go.to.hell.
you know who you are. why the FUCK would you bring her into this? moron.
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[21 Nov 2007|06:17pm] |
thanksgiving is tomorrow! my mom and i made pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread today. we also went shopping, and picked out something for my dad. i'm thankful for a lot of things in my life. i'm thankful for everyone IN my life.
i'mthankful for my parents
i'm thankful for my sister
i'm thankful for lauren the most out of all my friends, she's my sister
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[17 Sep 2007|09:55pm] |
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"i know you're going through a tough time right now, but as you know, i'm always here for you. though i'm miles away, i'm always close to you in heart. you've always been here for me, always. you have even saved my life. i love you maddy, and i know things are hard, but you are a smart girl and you'll know what the right thing to do is, even if it's tough. i believe you'll chose the right thing. i'll always be here for you maddy. i love you."
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[11 Sep 2007|02:49pm] |
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food poisoning is awesome
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| :-) |
[27 Aug 2007|04:48pm] |
lauren this weekendddddd
can't wait!
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[17 Aug 2007|07:59pm] |
this was my to do list this summer
to do list for the summer:
+ actually go to the gym
+ therefore lose weight
+ GET A TAN!
+ get a good haircut/dye
+ not royally fuck up the kick
+ see the gf
+ new wardrobe
+ paint my room yellow
+ not completely kill myself at civic/warped tour x2
+ get a new camera!
+ get a better hobby... wait i don't even have one to begin with
lets see. i didn't go to the gym, i gained weight instead of lost it, i guess i got a small tan. i didn't get a haircut, and i didn't die my hair. i dropped my sk for the first time when i was at laurens and i lost all my shit for a while. didn't see stephy, i bought a lot of clothes tho. my room is still ugly purple and yellow. i didn't die at civic or warped, didn't even came close. well, i came close when i met gabe. i did get a new camera and its my baby.
i have no hobbies.
i miss lauren so much. honestly. i can't wait until labor dayyy ITS REALLY SOON i can't wait wait wait laurenrenrenen.
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[08 Jul 2007|09:47pm] |
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goodbye to sleep
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| i miss lauren |
[07 Jul 2007|09:03pm] |
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daily horoscop: Abstain from getting involved with married individuals.
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[26 Jun 2007|02:38pm] |
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this is gonna be the best weekend/week of my life
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| the higher is bomb everyone go listen to them now |
[09 Jun 2007|08:15pm] |
to do list for the summer:
+ actually go to the gym
+ therefore lose weight
+ GET A TAN!
+ get a good haircut/dye
+ not royally fuck up the kick
+ see the gf
+ new wardrobe
+ paint my room yellow
+ not completely kill myself at civic/warped tour x2
+ get a new camera!
+ get a better hobby... wait i don't even have one to begin with
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[07 May 2007|07:46pm] |
this is it, this is your life.
i repeat this in my head on a constant speed of at least once an hour.
live by it, live with it.
this is your life so make it fucking good.
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| i am the ghost writer for the soul of a mercenary. |
[22 Mar 2007|02:51pm] |
"i wish i had gotten to you before the chaos," she said.
but the chaos is not only what has taken over, but what is the fuel that lugs the steam of this engine.
without the mayhem i am simple plain and boring. and you know what god does to boring people.
someone asked about regret.
"i regret something every single day," i responded. because every day i miss an opportunity to live harder
fuck better
kiss longer
and rage harder.
theres this gift we all have, despite the card we've been dealt we all sit at the same table.
some play what they have and some ask for forgiveness, and some burn with guilt, and some sit with words on their tongue, and some just don't know what to shut the fuck up.
but we all have it. this gift. and the laziness you project is nothing more than flamboyant arrogance to those who sit and wait for death. to those who are wishing at this very moment for 15 more minutes of life. to use those 15 more passion filled minutes to proclaim their love.
for 15 more minutes to breathe in the exhileration.
you are a fucking arrogant and wasteful human being and i hang my head in shame for the moments you squander and the heart you no longer put to use. i will sit across from you and wonder what happened to your soul.
how it got so black and empty. and i'll watch your mouth move and i'll think only to myself, "i wish you would end it." for me, for you. and for those who you continue to poison with your vile and contemptious existence. because yes, i believe there are people who are better off dead. and yes, i believe that those who squander this gift are beneath those who make the attempt. and yes you will be judged on the life you live, relationships and the respect given to them, and the responsibilities you stand accountable for. and no i do not believe that everyone is inherintly good and to those who know the vigor and urgency of life, thank you for being my inspiration. thank you for letting me take something away from your words and actions.
thank you for being a teacher
thank you for showing me that its more courageous to express love than it is to stand silent
because fuck waiting 3 days to call you back
fuck being embarassed about thinking about you every day
fuck not showing love and interest
fuck not making the first move
fuck not making any moves
fuck holding you back
fuck holding me back
fuck expectations, standards, outdated traditions that no longer apply.
because in my last minutes i refuse to sit in shame over the moments and opportunities i have misused.
i will look down at the racing stripes that cover this battle worn body, and smile. and hope that i've done everything i've done with this animated corpse that god gave me
because you never regret the girls you kiss
you only regret the girls you don't kiss
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